Tag Archive | personal growth

12 Wishes for Christmas – #9

#9 – May men and women figure out the framework of the new relationships of the future that balance commitment, freedom, integrity, respect, and the need to continue developing one’s consciousness. The object of a relationship is not to preserve the relationship, it is to be mirrors for one another…and to enjoy the gift of life while you have it.

To Yvonne About Islam…

I’m not the least bit ignorant, Yvonne. I know what Islam teaches. And in your counter-argument, you verified beautifully exactly what I pointed out…submission is the path to achieve Islam’s version of religious success. It doesn’t matter that they tack on promises that say submission will get you to Oneness. It’s still submission, and it’s a very effective way of controlling the spiritually immature.

Christianity does the same thing using guilt. All sorts of promises are made to you if you will just purge yourself of guilt, the result being that you end up focusing on your imaginary guilt – all of which is defined by men. Some people go so far as to flog themselves or continuously punish themselves instead of focusing on the joyousness and freedom of becoming who you really are – warts and all! You are a unique individual for a reason.

Buddhism does the same thing by telling you to get rid of the ego. Shame on you for having an ego! The problem is that the real ego is that part of you that is always aware and scanning the environment for threats that may require you to fight or run like hell to save your life. The legacy of Freud is a serious misunderstanding of the ego.

You need the ego as a protective function! However, as you develop your consciousness, you become more and more present. The more present you are, the less need there will be for your ‘ego’ to be watching. Instead, you will be watching and supremely aware! As you become being totally present, the ego fades naturally to the background. You take over the job of watching for attacks and threats – and you calmly and skillfully shift these energies. You can only be totally present if you are silent, aware, and maintain absolute clarity. Telling people they have to drop their ego is not only a disservice, it’s a serious distraction from the work of becoming highly conscious. Ego is absolutely necessary until full spiritual development takes over, at which point the ego is subsumed into an awakened consciousness.

All religions are frameworks for the spiritually immature. This is not to say they are bad. They are useful for helping us hold a set of beliefs until we can plumb their depths and go beyond the dogma. Religions often mean well, but their teachings tend to be shallow and must eventually be understood at a much deeper level than most religions care to go. They don’t want to go any deeper because it undermines their control. Those people who go beyond the common framework enter the world of the esoteric teachings. This is a territory where only a few people really venture because it takes you beyond the world of the easy, the shallow, the group-think platitudes that most people settle for.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You will rarely get to Oneness and the experience of the Godhead by doing what the religions, or even the New Age teachings tell you. You will only get there by having the courage to be yourself, follow your heart, and let the path that interests you take you into the unknown where you will risk being torn apart at almost every level of your being. However, you will come back together and will emerge as someone who knows the Self and needs no other framework.

All One?

I get this question a lot, so I asked the person who sent it if she would mind if I used her question to put the answer out there again. She wrote:

I am having a hard time understanding how our people, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters and so on who are soldiers would ever walk against the people in our own country. They are us, how do we come to grips with that?

The effort to understand how some people can go against others is a HUGE step in understanding the nature of reality. We are all here to evolve and change. It is very difficult to change if you are not in a physical system. We come to this physical system after having made all sorts of agreements and contracts with one another to teach certain things. Before we get here there is a great deal of time and energy spent planning a life and getting others to come back with you and play certain roles that will force you to change. The people who love us the most will often take on the role of the most frustrating people in our life. Why? Because only someone who cares for you a lot will have the stamina to withstand your anger and continue to teach until you get it. Of course, we usually set things up so that our favorite people are teaching one thing, and we are teaching them something they need. It’s a beautiful system for evolution and change.

As for your comment, “They are us, how do we come to grips with that?” Most people take the “we are all one” concept way too far. Yes, we are all made of Source material, which is Light, however, in a physical system, we are all separate, all different, and it bothers me a lot that people try to lump everyone together instead of celebrating our differences, exploring the mystery of another human, and making space for the collective reality to grow and evolve because of the millions of unique contributions of all of us here. We are not all one – except in terms of the Light that we are all made of – and insisting that we are defeats the entire purpose and joy of individual existence within a physical reality system.

Marriage – Same-Sex or Otherwise – #1

While listening to news reports of demonstrations outside the Supreme Court as they hear arguments pro and con regarding same-sex marriage, several things come to mind. The first harks back to the early 1980s and the visits from the little men in brown robes. This was their statement to me:

“The problem with your idea of marriage is that as soon as two people get married in your world, all personal growth and development stops. Both parties begin NOT doing the things they would like or need to do because it upsets the other.  The original meaning of the word husband was “to raise to fullness.” In ancient times, to marry meant that two people would come together and commit to helping one another make as much progress as possible toward becoming full spiritual beings. Their goal was to ‘husband’ one another by nurturing the gifts, encouraging the dreams, and supporting the soul development of each. Today, the goal is to make the legal arrangement last as long as possible. Personal development comes to a complete halt. As such, we cannot support marriage as you practice it.”

The second came from my divorce lawyer at the time that Jim and I split up a few years ago. He shocked me by saying that the marriage laws had been set up solely for the benefit of men. Marriage became a legal affair in order to allow men to collect and hang onto property while at the same time making it difficult for women to own or hold onto property. He said that somewhere back in the Middle Ages, women had to bring property to the man or they would likely remain unmarried. The bigger the property, the more quickly the woman would be snapped up – usually in a deal decided by her father and the man who wanted to expand his land holdings. Love was not what brought people together, and no man of means expected to love his wife or be faithful to her. As soon as the required heir had been born, the master of the estate would build a small house at the far edge of the property for his wife, furnish it comfortably, hire a few servants to tend the house and the wife, and move her into the new place. He would then promptly bring his mistress or lover into the big house and proceed to enjoy the benefits of the property that came with the wife and the sexual relations that came with the lover.  Although the 19th century and women’s liberation has brought some changes in the way divorce is handled, the basic laws of marriage are in place to benefit men and the state.

Given the above, what makes us think the Supreme Court is a good place to decide on the question of same-sex marriage? This question will be repeated in the next blog on Marriage!